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the_safehouse

Fic: "All the way back home" by jaycat

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12 September 2009 | 23:12
posted by: constant_muse in the_safehouse


A hasty, unbeta'd fic for Sunday. My excuse is that  my computer is out of action, so my WIPs, and pics, are inaccessible, but I could write something new. Last night I had to drive 180 miles as a round trip through the Welsh hills, I needed something to think of on the way home ...



Title:
All the way back home at midnight

Author:
jaycat
Format: ficlet (920 words)
Circuit Archive: yes Pros-Lib: yes
Slash/Gen:
slash (but just soppy)
Pairing:
Bodie/Doyle

Summary: Bodie thinks about love.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bodie, Doyle or CI5 characters. I just like to borrow them and give them back.
Unbeta’d, so entirely my responsibility.


8.30 am

Look at you, Doyle, strolling across the caff in my direction, with our tea and bacon sarnies on a tray.  Neither of us got to bed last night. I feel like the creature from the black lagoon, but you – a shower, a shave and a change of clothes, and you’re fresh as a daisy. All ready to get up and at ‘em. That waitress is beaming for once, just because you treated her to your crooked grin.  Could be those jeans you’re wearing, too.

 

Wonder what it would be like to wake up with you. Not every morning, of course, that would be too cosy and domestic. But just once in a while…

 

Love? No, I’d have to be a fool to love. It’s lust. I’ve learnt not to confuse desire with love.

 

3 pm

Bloody hell, Doyle. Carry on interrogating like this and we’ll have a suspicious death in Home Office custody on our hands. Not that you’d lay a finger on him, you’re much too clever for that.

 

I’ll stand here by the door, unmoving, looking surly and menacing. If you need me to do anything more, you’ll let me know just by your body language.

 

Hope the poor bugger doesn’t have a heart condition. He’s terrified, but he’s talking. At this rate we’ll have this sordid little operation intercepted and closed down tonight in time for last orders, and maybe even get to bed after.

 

There’s nothing wrong with your heart, Ray. I mean, the reason you do this job. For some of us it’s just a living. Some get a kick out of bullying and hurting. But for you it’s a quest to make this worn-out old country a better place, to save Mr and Mrs Average from the drugs and guns and bombs. You even feel for the crims and their families. And after all that caring for people you don’t even know, you’ve still got the heart to care about me. You come after me when I run from you, even when I push you away. Still, what does that mean?

 

That I love you for it? I’m patently not a fool, so I do not fall in love. It’s not the thing for me.

 

 

7 pm

I should never have got cornered in this filthy warehouse. Can’t hold off two of them with the ammo I’ve got left and so little cover. One shot, two. That’s Ray’s gunfire, from over by the doorway. One thug down and the other one running for it. Christ, I couldn’t have managed a shot like that, from that distance.

 

All over now. I can hear the sirens – ambulance, police – on their way. You’re staggering across the dusty space to me. We meet in the middle and I take your arm, look you up and down, check you’re okay.  Green eyes, wide and manic, meet mine and you sway towards me…

 

Bloody hell, it’s the R/T.

 

“3.7? Come in, 3.7.”

 

“3.7 here. Go ahead.”

 

“Mr Cowley’s orders: When you’ve dealt with the London end, go to Dover. You and 4.5 can help intercept the consignment there.”

 

“Small problem. Our transport’s been shot up, before we took cover here.”

 

“No problem, 3.7. Lucas and McCabe are outside. Suggest you go with them.”

 

“Will do, over.”

 

A moment ago we were falling over with fatigue, but now the adrenalin kicks in again.

 

I grin at you. “Come on, sunshine, let’s see if McCabe wants to pick up a couple of hitchhikers.”

 

You laugh, “Thumbs out?”

 

“Well don’t show a leg, that’ll put him right off.”

 

 

Midnight

Peace at last, and quiet and comfort, sinking deeper into the upholstery in the back seat while McCabe eases through the outskirts of Dover towards the open road and home.

 

Oi, gerroff, Ray, heavy, you are. Oh, you’re asleep.

 

You’re sleeping on my shoulder. My left shoulder, in the back seat of a Ford Escort speeding up the A2, seems to be the most natural place in the world for you to give in to exhaustion, put your head down and go to sleep. You trust me that much.

 

Wish I could turn to see your face, but it might wake you, and Lucas would wonder what I was doing. Oh, he’s nodded off, too, and McCabe’s eyes are firmly on the white lines ahead.  I can just feel you breathing softly. Your lips are parted a little, just like a child tucked up in bed, safe and innocent. Mind you, you’re so mucky if you were a kid your mum would have put you in the bath first.

 

If I move my arm carefully, put it around you, you’ll be more comfortable. There, that’s better. Still asleep.

 

Lay your sleeping head, my love, human on my faithless arm…

 

Auden was queer, I bet that’s about a young man, too.

 

But in my arms till break of day, let the living creature lie,

Mortal, guilty, but to me the entirely beautiful.

 

Let’s hope we get there a bit before break of day, but don’t hurry, McCabe. If you want to go the long way, or we have to queue for roadworks, it won’t bother me. We’re fine, here in the back seat. Don’t want Ray to wake up yet, he needs the sleep, and I…

 

I can deal with lust, admiration, respect, anything but this… this complete and utter trust he has in me. I’d be a fool not to love him.

 

Note: Inspired by a two-hour drive home along the Welsh border on a luminous Friday evening, with the Pet Shop Boys “Liberation” as the soundtrack:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-zR9RVHjmQ

as well as my favourite lines of poetry.

.
Tags:

Link | R/T open |

Comments {54}

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byslantedlight

(no subject)

from: byslantedlight
date: 12 September 2009 22:34 (UTC)
Link

Oh, yeay and yeay for Pros in my flist! And a little fic in my flist, and oh, Doyle sleeping on Bodie's shoulder ast eh night flashes past... love it - thank you very much! *g*

Driving's good, innit? *vbg*

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 12 September 2009 23:36 (UTC)
Link

yay for lots of Pros posts this weekend.
Glad you liked that.
I used to listen to Radio 4 while driving, always, but now I prefer to entertain myself *g*

Reply | Parent | Thread

sc_fossil

(no subject)

from: sc_fossil
date: 12 September 2009 23:19 (UTC)
Link

Ahhh, that was wonderful. Bodie's sure that he's not in love, but in spite of telling himself that, by the end of the day, he knows better. Well done. Thanks.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 12 September 2009 23:37 (UTC)
Link

Thank you!
I'm sure 'I'm not in love' has been done to death, but...

Reply | Parent | Thread

... blood, sweat, and flowers ...

(no subject)

from: zana16
date: 12 September 2009 23:20 (UTC)
Link

I love how a typical day in CI5 inevitably includes a shootout. :)

This is a lovely little piece. Thank you!

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 12 September 2009 23:40 (UTC)
Link

"I love how a typical day in CI5 inevitably includes a shootout." LOL

Cliche-ed I know. But they do lead such hectic lives those lads.

Reply | Parent | Thread | Expand

probodie

(no subject)

from: probodie
date: 12 September 2009 23:23 (UTC)
Link

Ahhhh what a delightful look into what Bodie feels about Doyle - and it is, patently, love! I love particularly that last scene, in the car driving back and how much trust Doyle has for him that he can place his head on Bodie's shoulder and drift off to sleep.

All this and Auden too!!! *squee* My favourite boys and my favourite poet...gorgeous.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 12 September 2009 23:41 (UTC)
Link

Thank you, ma'am, glad to please.

Reply | Parent | Thread

windrain10

(no subject)

from: windrain10
date: 13 September 2009 00:14 (UTC)
Link

This was fantastic. Perfect way to end the day, reading this. Thanks very much for writing and posting it.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:42 (UTC)
Link

My pleasure.
gosh, the end of another day already, have only just made it to lj for the first time today.

Reply | Parent | Thread

recycledmedia

(no subject)

from: recycledmedia
date: 13 September 2009 00:27 (UTC)
Link

Thanks so much for the story! It was perfect.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:43 (UTC)
Link

oh thank you, you are too kind.

That's a great icon ; )

Reply | Parent | Thread

Gilda Elise

(no subject)

from: gilda_elise
date: 13 September 2009 00:39 (UTC)
Link

Ah, this is lovely. Especially at the last, I can clearly see Bodie slipping his arm around to hold Ray close. Great work.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:44 (UTC)
Link

Thank you, entirely my pleasure.

Reply | Parent | Thread

msmoat

(no subject)

from: msmoat
date: 13 September 2009 01:05 (UTC)
Link

Now, that's just nice. I love the image of Doyle sleeping--trusting--on Bodie in the back of the Escort as they speed towards Dover. It's absolutely right. And, yeah, Bodie's no fool. *g*

Thank you! After a six-day work week, this was most welcome.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:45 (UTC)
Link

six-day week - eep. I hope you've had/are having a well deserved relaxing Sunday.
Pros fic as a tonic, I like that idea.

Reply | Parent | Thread

sunray45

(no subject)

from: sunray45
date: 13 September 2009 01:15 (UTC)
Link

Lovely! Not sloppy at all, just Bodie finally giving in to his feelings and having a secret cuddle with Doyle.

Thank you. ♥

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:46 (UTC)
Link

Hi there - so glad you read and commented, and thanks for saying nice things.

Reply | Parent | Thread

Hambel

(no subject)

from: hambelandjemima
date: 13 September 2009 06:46 (UTC)
Link

Lovely :)

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:47 (UTC)
Link

Thank you, ma'am.

"Lovely" that applies to those arms in your icon too!

Reply | Parent | Thread

shooting2kill

(no subject)

from: shooting2kill
date: 13 September 2009 07:43 (UTC)
Link

This touched a lot of emotions - especially lines this:

I can deal with lust, admiration, respect, anything but this… this complete and utter trust he has in me. I’d be a fool not to love him.

Lovely! Thanks.

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:48 (UTC)
Link

oh thank you, so glad you liked it.

Reply | Parent | Thread

andrea

(no subject)

from: andreathelion
date: 13 September 2009 09:17 (UTC)
Link

That was absolutely lovely, I thoroughly enjoyed the reading! :)
Thank you!

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:49 (UTC)
Link

Thanks very much for reading, and for saying such nice things.
Writing about the lads is entirely my pleasure.

Reply | Parent | Thread

norfolkdumpling

(no subject)

from: norfolkdumpling
date: 13 September 2009 09:22 (UTC)
Link

I did enjoy Bodie's gradual acceptance of his feelings for Ray.

I grin at you. “Come on, sunshine, let’s see if McCabe wants to pick up a couple of hitchhikers.”

You laugh, “Thumbs out?”

“Well don’t show a leg, that’ll put him right off.”


That made me laugh - so very them. *g*

Thank you. :)

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:51 (UTC)
Link

Thank you. I'm glad you picked that because I was beginning to think I should have just written the last scene, the sleeping on Bodie's shoulder bit, but I wanted that development and to give Bodie opportunities to deny loving Doyle, until finally he had to give in.

Reply | Parent | Thread

jj_minerva

(no subject)

from: jj_minerva
date: 13 September 2009 11:00 (UTC)
Link

Catching up on Lj after a busy week and weekend and I find this little gem waiting to be read. Some wonderful moments snapshoting 'a day in the life of...' and so full of feeling. Bodie and poetry...What more could we ask for?

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:56 (UTC)
Link

I'm so glad that you made it to lj, and that you have said such nice things about my ficlet.

I suppose it's because I admire your writing, and you beta for me so much, I find myself writing and thinking 'would JJ like this? and how I've written it?'

My usual computer will be out of action for the next week, so no progress on that WIP, I'm sorry to say.

Reply | Parent | Thread | Expand

firlefanzine

(no subject)

from: firlefanzine
date: 13 September 2009 11:16 (UTC)
Link

I don't know why, but I love the imagination of them in a car by night, with all passing lights of the other cars and street lamps and road signs, the landscape that you know it's there...
It's a special situation - and really Bodie knows: "I’d be a fool not to love him."

I love it!
Thanks!

Reply | Thread

The new Salopian

(no subject)

from: constant_muse
date: 13 September 2009 21:56 (UTC)
Link

You and your vivid imagination. *vbg*

thanks!

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